The Big List of New Year’s Resolutions for Stoners

Man rolling joint using hemp rolling paper

If you weren’t enjoying your favorite herb when the New Year’s ball dropped, you’re doing it wrong.

But it’s not enough just to be smoking on New Year’s Eve. 2022 is the year of the stoner, and it’s time for you to set some resolutions.

If it’s not already, bookmark our online head shop. This year, you’re going to need it.

Everyone else is choosing something to improve, so prove your rightful title of being a stoner by following this ultimate list of New Year’s resolutions!

Roll the Elusive Perfect Joint

This year is the year. The year.

That’s right, it’s time to stop being lazy with your rolling skills. You deserve better. Your friends deserve better. Your online smoke shop deserves better.

You have no excuse. There are so many videos at your disposal, and your friends have a wealth of information just waiting to be shared.

Roll your joints mindfully. Treat it as an art form. Become a master.

Like a surfer spending his whole life trying to find the perfect wave, it’s about time you rolled that perfect joint.

Take a Tolerance Break (Actually!)

You always say that you’re going to take a t-break. Your wallet is starting to pay the price for your high tolerance and you miss getting high more easily.

Well, we all know that t-breaks almost never last. Like a moth drawn to a flame, you inevitably start smoking again before your break has the opportunity to have any effect on your tolerance.

And then there’s the embarrassment of telling your friends you’re taking a break, only to be smoking with them three days later.

Think about it: others are starting workout routines, going on diets, and setting career goals. Meanwhile, your goal is to take a week off. I think you can handle this one.

While you’re stuck in your room craving that high, order some goodies from our online head shop to reward yourself when your break is done and over with.

Make the Ultimate Stoner Playlist

Music just hits differently when you’re high. The drums run you over like a truck and there might as well be a piano right in your living room.

Take advantage of this superpower! Try new music like jazz or classical. See what heights you can reach.

The ultimate stoner playlist is full of surprises: a slow ballad followed by your favorite 2012 pop-punk anthem. Do yourself a favor and create a perfectly curated wave of emotions to ride out while high.

Rewatch Your Childhood Favorites

Once upon a time, Spongebob was the funniest thing you had ever seen. Luckily, you can relive those times by rewatching your favorite old shows while high. With your trusty online smoke shop by your side, bring your childhood back to life.

Zone out to the Simpsons and become one with Homer. Pull out Space Jam and be hypnotized by the trippy mix of animation and acting. Gossip Girl can have you at the edge of your seat all over again.

Good luck following the plot lines, though!

Experiment with Herbal Weed Blends

Have you ever tried mixing herbs in with your weed?

It can add a whole new dimension of flavor to your joint, especially when paired with the right weed. A floral strain can become a culinary delight with a pinch of lavender, while the musk of other strains can be highlighted with some sage.

In addition, the calming effects of lavender or mint can help offset sativa jitters or elevate the relaxation of your favorite indica.

Smoke Up Your Friends More Often

There’s always one person in the friend group who is more than generous with their weed. They bring it to every hang and graciously offer it up to anyone who wants a puff.

This year, it’s your turn to be that friend. Pay it forward with some good karma by sharing more often. If you’re feeling extra lavish, give your friends some gifts from our online head shop.

You’ll find joy in watching your friends slowly turn into laughing fools (or zombies, depending on the strain) by the power of your gift. Sharing is caring, and being stoned is better when you’re not alone.

Eat Spicy Food While High

You know how food just tastes so much better when you’re high? Push those ultra-sensitive taste buds to the limit with some flaming-hot food.

First, treat yourself to some new supplies from our online head shop.

Now that you’re all stocked up, buy a couple of different hot sauces of various strengths and make some chicken wings.

Dip the chicken wings in hot sauce, each wing being spicier than the last. Your entire body will catch on fire as you push yourself to your limits.

If you like ordering take-out when you’re high, get some spicy curry. You’ll feel like you have hot peppers running through your veins.

This is extra fun with a group of friends. If you’re really ambitious, buy some hot peppers and see who can handle the spiciest one. Whoever wins gets smoked up for a week!

Become One with Nature

Have a few hits. Go outside. Lie down.

The morphing clouds will be the most mesmerizing thing you’ve ever seen. Hug a tree and you’ll feel its love in return. Pick up some dirt and realize you’re a creature of the earth.

If you live by a body of water, go swimming. The current will run through every cell of your body, and every movement you make will be in slow motion.

After all, marijuana is a plant. Pay it some respect by going outside!

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